The Practices of Silence and Solitude

Do you need a better reason than that to give yourself the gift of a little silence and solitude? That quote is from Oswald Chambers ... the Oswald Chambers - the author of the classic daily devotional book - My Utmost for His Highest" and who saw solitude as key. If you've ever had trouble shutting your thoughts off - or didn't even know you could - then this practice is for you. This is how you can begin to not only think when you want - but on what you want.

Solitude is not at all forcing yourself to be lonely. Loneliness is feeling disconnected from people - and can feel uncomfortable - or even painful. Solitude on the other hand is a welcome experience for someone who wants to know who they really are. Solitude isn't an extroverted or introverted thing. Just like worship is good for us - so is this. The theologian Paul Tillich saw solitude as good. So did John Milton - the 17th century English Poet. Creatives and thinkers have always been turning to this practice. 

Moses did it. David did it. Others did it too. Jesus is recording doing it too - more than anyone else. "It" of course is spending some time in solitude. If the Son of God need it solitude - even as fully God and fully man - then how much more valuable might it be for us? I believe in solitude and silence we can most easily lay our burdens down - and take up Jesus' yoke (Matt 11)

Solitude is one of those practices that can often get lost in unnecessary complexity. It's really no harder than it sounds. Go somewhere you can be alone. There's no minimum or maximum amount of time. If you're new to this - then especially I'd recommend that less is more. There's nothing in particular that you have to do in solitude. You can enjoy solitude in your room, or in a public space - although it might be easier on you to at least to go somewhere you can maybe avoid interruptions and distractions. Eventually - silence and solitude will at least in part be a state of mind for you and you'll be able to enjoy it nearly anywhere.

A word on silence. 

There is a connection between our obsession with busy-ness and our lack of clarity about who we are and what we want. We don't know why we exist at least in part because we've so rarely walked away from our digital devices and become familiar with our own soul. Solitude supports regaining this clarity. Silence does too. This kind of silence isn't refusing to talk when you're around others - but rather - like solitude - seeking out space where you can naturally enjoy silence. Solitude isn't solitude if it's shared with Netflix. Nor is silence. Ditto for Facebook or whatever other social media. There's nothing wrong with those - they just can't really help you learn this practice. Silence isn't about not making sound. Silence is about embracing stillness.

The first time I spent some significant time in solitude - was after my friends Lance and Julie were married. I was about to embark on my first full-time ministry job. I wanted to be quiet, alone - and fast and pray. I wanted to be useful to God in my new job. So - not really knowing what else to do with myself - I drove into the middle of the Upper Pennisula (aka: "The U.P.") - parked my car. And felt immediately overwhelmed by the enormity of the silence. It was May - weeks before Memorial Day. It was cold. It felt like I was the only person on earth - or at least the only person along the National Pictured Rocks Lakeshore. Even though I'd comfortably spent hours and hours alone before - this was the first time I'd planned an over-night of silence and solitude. But - in a little while - this feeling came over me ... of immense freedom. Since then I've frequently returned to nature as a way to enjoy long stretches of both solitude and silence.

You sure don't have to drive into the middle of the U.P. to enjoy some silence and solitude (though it's available in such abundance up there it's like a national resource!). And you sure don't have to go away over night - though once you get the hang of silence and solitude - you might like a week or two of it - or more. 

Think this is impossible? John Francis quit speaking as a teen ... and didn't speak another word for 17 years.  He said it took a full month of not saying a thing for the constant voice in his head to quiet down. (You can watch his TED talk here) Believe it or not he even taught university courses - while not speaking. Interesting guy. I'm not advocating that - just saying that you'd be surprised how good a teacher silence is.

If you've ever spent some time alone with God - in prayer, or reading your Bible - you're already learning how to enjoy solitude and silence - especially if you do so quietly - without loads of music, media, interruption and moving around.

Many people are unnerved by silence - they find themselves not in blissful stillness - but weighed down with a sudden lack of sensory input. We don't even realize the impact it has on us to be surrounded by noise 24/7. Even if you live alone and never play music/watch shows ... you're still surrounded by noise - neighbors, motors, fans, cars, appliances, pets, ... there seems no end. Sometimes in the absence of all this racket - or even just the absence of some of it - we can find our minds flitting from thought to thought - sometimes even thoughts we don't want to think. This is completely normal in the beginning. The truth is - those thoughts were already there but were buried under the noise. The easiest way to make the thoughts you don't want go away - is to focus on what's going on right now around you - what you see - hear and feel. It will also support future times of silence and solitude if you can learn in general to not run from thoughts - but address them head on. In time in that silence and solitude - you can hone your skills of learning to speak truthfully and kindly to yourself. It's also just fine to start off with your experiments with silence and solitude with a walk, a bike-ride, a swim, or hike. Silence and solitude are far easier to do while moving than when being still - at least for most people this is true. You can enjoy it while engaging in any sort of repetitive physical activity. Initially - a nice quiet walk is probably simplest and safest. Even a 5 or 10 minute walk is enough to benefit. There's more benefit to ending your practice wanting more - than hating it because it seems endless. If you don't want to try it - then by all means - please don't. It is an excellent way to grow and deepen your walk immensely - but it's a way for the willing - not the coerced. 

Dr. Dallas Willard - a Baptist preacher, seminary professor and philosophy professor - began his list of 14 spiritual disciplines with solitude. The rest are silence, fasting, frugality, chastity, secrecy, sacrifice, study, worship, celebration, service, prayer, fellowship, confession, submission. The first seven disciplines he calls disciplines of abstinence - meaning they are disciplines we practice by intentionally not doing something; not being with others, not talking/making noise, not eating etc. The second seven disciplines he calls disciplines of engagement - meaning that they are disciplines we practice by intentionally doing something; studying scripture, engaging in worship, participating in service etc. About solitude Willard - on Page 160 of his book The Spirit of the Disciplines" says "The normal course of day-to-day human interactions locks us into patterns of feeling, thought, and action that are geared to a world set against God. Nothing but solitude can allow the development of a freedom the ingrained behaviors that hinder our integration into God's order." A little later he writes, "In solitude we find the psychic distance, the perspective from which we can see, in the light of eternity, the created things that trap, worry, and oppress us."

Silence combined with solitude can bring great strength to our souls. On the night before His death - it was silence and solitude Jesus sought in the garden - that tells us quite a bit regarding the power of those two practices. Putting our outer-selves in a place where we can experience physical solitude - is a prelude to the inner solitude that is commonly referred to as "being at peace with oneself". Putting our outer-selves in a place where we can experience physical silence - is a prelude to the inner solitude that is commonly referred to as "being at peace in one's own mind." Just that development from our experience of physical silence and solitude is a significant gift. If you should choose to experience even more of this gift - you may even discover deeper truths and richer gifts. Comfort with silence and solitude makes praying more natural. 

Though I have before this summer's study on Salty Speech spent plenty of time - days even - in silence and solitude - it'd been a number of years since I'd last done this - and I'd never had had quite the same focus on speech before. This summer's practice in silence and solitude also came after three years of experience with the Grace Habit - and after more than a year of daily meditation. Perhaps for these reasons - or others I can't presently identify - this year's experiences with silence and solitude left me feeling more powerfully engaged with the person God's called me to be. And I now know more than ever that that person wants no part of any form of ungodly speech. Ungodly speech is simply too disruptive to the silence and solitude. Gushing forth ungodly speech at some other point in my day - to me - seems to have the same effect on silence and solitude as a disastrously over-flowed filthy toilet - on the top floor of an immaculate and beautiful home. No thanks. Scripture is living and active - and good for teaching and correction - and so is being still before the Lord. Over the course of this summer - the more I engaged in practicing silence and solitude - the more I realized that there was nothing that any ungodly form of speech could offer me that I wanted more than that inner peace experienced in those moments of silence and solitude.

If you want to try some silence and solitude - pick a quiet place to walk ... around here - that could be in Hixon, or Myrick which can be accessed with a short walk, bike ride or drive from any campus in town.

1. Once on the trail - shut off your phone (or at least silence it)
2. If you want you can set a timer for some desired amount of time (set it for a short period of time.  If your time ends too soon - go again.)
3. Next - take a few deep breaths.
4. Notice the scenery around you.
5. Pick a direction and start off. 
6. Thoughts might pop into mind - don't sweat it. Thoughts don't negate silence and solitude.
7. If you want fewer thoughts to occur - focus on how where you are, what you see, how you feel. Remember - this was how Adam and Eve spent time with God - walking in the garden in the cool of the day (Genesis 3)
8. You might feel like it's strange to be in silence and solitude at first - that's not a symptom of doing anything wrong - but rather just your soul enjoying some real freedom.

The Foulest Word in English is "Should"

If you've known me for very long then this post will not surprise you in the least. I've had a growing discomfort - and increasing dislike for this word for a while now.

Should is the foulest word in English because when it's said by adults to adults - it's being said by people who don't want to think for themselves to those they don't want to think for themselves. That's gross. 

Should is intimately connected with comparison. "You should be more like So-and-So." for instance. Comparison is the thief of joy they say. Whoever they are - on this one - they are right! I promise you - unless someone is taking time out to encourage you to be more like Jesus - and there are so many ways to specifically say so - there isn't anyone you should be more like - unless of course we include you yourself. I know they say "Be Batman" - but gimme a break ... Batman can't even get outta his cave before Jesus has whooped him from His!

I do actually believe you should be more like your true self. I'd love that in fact. It'd be enormously encouraging to me as I pursue being more my true self - because - sometimes in the course of learning from Jesus how to be your true self - you have to learn to be okay with being a little weird.

Seems outlandish for creatures with no ability whatsoever to create a human from scratch - just breath, dust and divine will - to suggest that we somehow just "know" to "fix" people. This is not in any way to disparage the very real and very awesome sorts of help offered by trained professionals to those seeking trained professionals of all stripes: Doctors, Counselors, Trainers, Coaches etc. - but rather to say that "should" is typically on first-name basis with Judgment - and doesn't spend much time with Authentic Assistance. 

Speaking of authenticity - should wants none of it. Authenticity is for those bold, adventurous types in possession of a sturdy back-bone. Should wants you to to squish yourself up into some tidy little mold. "Hey you! Square Peg! Get back in that round hole!"

Thanks to it's connection to comparison and in-authenticity - Should amps up insecurity. Does that make you nervous? Hmmmmm? It should.

Even worse - Should is antithetical to actual faith. Please tell me what leap of faith could, or would, ever should? Whip out your Bibles and read through Hebrews 11 - and tell me which of those people was doing what they shoulda. In my opinion - all of them - but that's because I believe in leaps of faith - and there's never been two alike. So don't sweat it if you mess yours up - or nail it - dare I say that there should be more coming?

But - IMHO - the foulest stench wafting off that soul-withering word should comes from it's participation in contempt. And - let's go ahead and admit that it's entirely possible to use the word should without actually shoulding on anyone - so don't go and intentionally lose the point in a pile of legalism - this is not about the word. This is about the heart condition that throws the word around willy nilly.

There is a reason for Jesus saying in the Sermon on the Mount that contempt is like murder. Contempt is actually guilty of murder-suicide though - because when I view another with contempt - I kill us both - at least a little. It doesn't take much of that before your soul starts to feel poisoned. I promise you - there is zero divine illumination about the glorious God-given unique calling He has for your life to be discovered using or living under the word should. If you want to walk in God's light - you're going to have to become something of a unique personality - a little weirdo if you will. 

Congrats! I think that is about the coolest thing possible that could ever happen to anyone anywhere!! 

What might you ask - does all this business about the word should have to do with the wrap-up week for months of study on Godly speech? Just this: I believe I can sum up every "don't" command in every verse about speech by eradicating contempt from my life. If you hold absolutely no one in contempt - not your enemy - not even yourself - a number of speechy-evils will simply be out of your reach. Now that's bliss. 

That's tricky isn't it though. Ever notice how seductive contempt is? Most pulpit banging and fist-pounding that goes on in churches, board-rooms, town-halls, bar-rooms and such - is all about contempt. Ever notice how un-seductive and unsexy humility is? Anger is seductive too - but calm takes work (at least for me). Perhaps that tells us everything we need to know about the capacity for those seductive vices to lead anyone to profound truth, or needful wisdom for humanity. 

So - don't should on yourself friend. Be forgiven. Be redeemed. Be wild. Be free - you awesomely singular weirdo you.

Inspiring Verses on Godly Speech

Speech is so tricky - like simplicity and humility - so illusive - and yet what a gift Salty Speech - seasoned abundantly with Grace is to give ourselves, those we love and those we share our days with.

Psalm 34:13  "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit."

Psalm 141:3  "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"

Proverbs 10:11, 19  "The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.  When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise."

Proverbs 12:6, 18  "The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright will deliver them. There is one whose rash words are like thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 13:3  "The one who guards his mouth preserves life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin."

Proverbs 15:1-2, 4, 23, 28  "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.  A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word! The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things."

Proverbs 17:27-28 "He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a food, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent."

Proverbs 18:20-21  "From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

Proverbs 21:23  "He who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from troubles."

Proverbs 25:11, 15  "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word rightly spoken. With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue can break bone."

Proverbs 31:26  "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."

Matthew 15:11  "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."

Mark 15:5  "But Jesus made no further answer; so Pilate was amazed."

Ephesians 4:15, 29, 32  "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for the edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Philippians 2:14  "Do all things without grumbling or questioning."

Colossians 4:6  "Let your speech always be gracious, season with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

2 Timothy 2:16  "But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness."

1 Peter 3:15  "But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence."

James 1:19, 26  "This you know my beloved brethren, but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.  If anyone thinks himself to be religious and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless."

The Power of Words and the Wonder of God

In the course of gathering and reading through articles, essays and posts on godly speech - I came across this book which is well written, well formatted and offers food for thought on the topic of godly speech for free. I'm still unsure why it didn't get wider release - or why it's available now for free - but it is. You can download it here - though if you'd prefer to pay some coin to Amazon - they'll happily let you do so and give you a kindle version or paper copy - just go here. 

The book is divided into an introduction and six chapters - each written by a different contributor examining a different assumption or passage on speech. At the end of the last chapter (which is on words of and for worship) - there are two "conversations" - or further discussions between the various contributors regarding the importance of this discipline and embracing the impact that it has (good and bad) and intentionally choosing what impact we want our words to have on our world.

Like me, the authors found that it is often our own words about our lives and the lives and intentions of those around us that influence us - far more than we realize. The words we speak to ourselves are so incredibly important. Taking full ownership of our words seriously and allowing God to search our hearts - not just in the heat of the moment but reflectively through the practice of silence and to a continually deeper level of understanding can literally revolutionize our understanding of God's transforming grace at work in the lives of His people. The more I study this topic - the more I realize that there are perhaps several revolutions not only available - but helpfully beckoning to us. I'm finding as I continue to study that my speech is sometimes the noise that keeps God's whispers of truth from landing on my heart. I'm also finding that the more I surrender my speech to Him - the more able He is to use my mouth to offer freedom to myself and others. To that end I find the conversations, exegesis and discussions in this book helpful and thought provoking. 

The authors are clear and open in what they write - and it seems that if you wanted to have a group discussion on godly speech this would be an excellent resource to start with - and hard to beat on price! Sometimes free resources are just a mess - this one seems to be more of a gem and will offer some food for solid discussion and challenge everyone at multiple points. I recommend it for individual study too - and have found it worth a couple of reads since I first posted about it a few weeks back. I can easily imagine reading it again in the near-ish future or breaking down the chapters for individual discussion here. Even discussing a particular point of this book with one friend or another over the last few weeks has led to fruitful insights. 

I don't know how long it will remain available as a free-to-download pdf - so maybe download a copy now for future study.

Enjoy!

Seriously Strong Salt

A while back I reviewed the book The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. This book launched a revolution for me in terms of how I think about my faith - and even though it came out almost 20 years ago - I'm still reaping rewards from his insights. 

They say you get what you pay for - except some times you really don't - for instance - what we "pay" for Grace is nothing compared to what we gain. And - here's a great deal for all you deal-lovers out there: there is a series of lectures by Dallas Willard on The Divine Conspiracy - so if you're not a reader and you'd love to enjoy a brain-engaging theology class - here's the whole 12 part lecture series - for free. I've watched them all and taken copious notes - and spent quite a few of my daily dog-walks pondering all the ponderables. What I've always appreciated about Dallas Willard is that he was not only a professor of theology - but a professor of philosophy and he was a minister - he uniquely merged these instead of teaching as if only one of those disciplines existed.

While there is nothing specifically in any of the titles of these lectures about speech - they all deal pretty directly with Christian character and conduct - and how to actually experience the authentic transformation we long for in our character and conduct. That said there is plenty Dallas has to say about the way we speak along the way. These lectures have been wonderfully helpful. 

There is easily 15 hours of video to watch here - and I'm already watching them for the second time. They are worth the time. A big thanks to Dan Carlson for passing this series along - I had no idea it was out there. I'm so grateful that these are available. All of the links below will open up in YouTube.

Enjoy!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12  

Restorations

Hi. My name is Amy Jo, and I love desks.

Last week the posts were a little thin - largely due to my decision to refinish my desk. The desk my parents gave me ... um ... quite a while ago ... because I'd been harassing them unrelentingly for my own desk ... a real one - not just one of these kids' jobbies over there at the right.

Then one day when I was 8 or so - out of the blue - my parents came home with a desk for me - a real desk. We plunked the estate-sale find down - and I was in business. It even had drawers! By the time I was 11 I convinced them that I needed to refinish this piece of furniture - a task and process I had zero clue about - but bizarrely (at least to me today) they dragged me off to the hardware store to get caustic chemicals and let me spend a week or so that summer playing with chemicals, power tools, sharp implements and such ... 

And I fell in LOVE with the idea of restoration.

So - I should say, "Hello. My name is Amy Jo, and I love restoring old things and making them beautiful again.

Taking something that was - frankly - ugly. Not just ugly to an 11 year old girl ugly - but unanimously voted drag-it-to-the-dump ugly by everyone I knew. It seemed magical that you could put this "stuff" on the ugly chipped paint, watch it bubble up, then loosen its death grip on the wood underneath, peel and scrape that off, then repeat that process again and again over and over until finally the work uncovered what was underneath. Was it oak? Was it mahogany? Turns out it was cherry - and nothing particularly special - but I got to make it beautiful again - or at least to try. And - actually - thanks to lots of help from my family - it did become beautiful. And it stayed beautiful for a long time. Until after so many years of use (not to mention moves all over the country, and so many pets and innumerable sloshed cups of coffee - it just needed to be refinished again. It took me 5 days and about 20 hours or so to finish the job - and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. All these years later - and after so many other refinishing projects - redoing the desk a second time - was ridiculously easy compared to the first time when I really thought it would nehhhhvahhh get done. 

I can't even count at this point in my life how many pieces of furniture I've refinished ... enough to know it's a nasty job. But I still feel that same immediate thrill when the first thick layers of paint loosen and the beauty of the wood underneath is finally revealed again - after who knows how long. 

Jesus uses metaphors of farming, pottery, building and such to help us grasp how God longs to work in our lives and has always been at work in the lives of humanity. Restoring something that could've headed to the landfill or the burn-pile - and giving it new life - I believe is another apt metaphor for how God works. We were once hostile to God, given over to sin, slaves of unrighteousness ... the New Testament authors use these terms and more to describe our plight. And yet - not only did God save us - but He uses His word, the Church and His Spirit to peel back one layer after another - if we'll let Him - so He can reveal the core beneath - so we can see His handiwork even clearer and rejoice in His generous loving kindness towards us. Or as Romans 3 puts it - all this just demonstrates God's righteousness. Whether we're struggling to be Christlike in a tough relationship, or at work, or in a difficult family situation or whatever it may be - God is lovingly using these struggles to restore us. He has no intention of letting us - however dinged and scratched up and busted up we might get - slipping through His hands and off to some discard pile. He is the ultimate Recycler - the ultimate Restorer. I for one am pretty darn relieved by this.

Too often we fear God's restorative work - as if He could botch the job.

God's restorative - or as we usually call it - transformative - work in our lives can be hecka scary too. I'm so happy sometimes to see Him working on someone else - but as soon as He comes near my ego with His surgical tools - however skilled I might in my head know Him to be - I'm with the prophet in Isaiah 6 when he says "I'm undone." We fear botched results - yet God cannot fail. He cannot botch. He's botchless. Let's get buttons made so we can remember just how far reaching His perfection really is. Messing up - simply isn't within the realm of His nature. 

I don't know about you - but I find that the more I slow myself down - the more I put myself into a state of rest in Him, the more I listen to Him - the less I fear His work in my life - and the less I babble, and blather, and carry-on. The more I listen to Him - the more miraculous I find His healing work in the world. However banged up life might make us feel - God is ever at the ready to transform that experience into a big reveal of His incredible love for us. This process isn't always easy or painless - but His results are always a window on His love for us. 

The more I listen to Him at work restoring you and me - the more likely I'll have something worth saying.

Salty Speech: The Auto-Awesome-ifier

A couple of years ago while on a camping trip and talking to God - it occurred to me that what I needed was a "machine" that could morph a bad day into a good one. I even drew up this little machine in my journal - that little Auto-Awesomeifier pictured above. You put all the good and bad from a single day into it - turn it on - let it do its thing - and Voila! - pure gold comes out at the bottom. One glance at this thing (or - maybe due to my drawing skills it'd take two or three glances) - and you know that I've read my quota of Dr. Suess and observed plenty of products produced by "ACME" and put to use by Wile E. Coyote, Genius ... 

While there is no such thing as a physical device that automatically awesome-ifies anything - especially not our days ... there is perhaps a practice or two that can. And I would argue that the degree to which we can embrace these practices really can have a powerfully dramatic impact on our days. Whatever you may want to call that practice - it comes down to surrender. 

James 1:2 encourages us to Consider it all joy - when we encounter various trials - and Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 counted all his various sufferings - which were each so substantial I think we might be tempted to never stop talking about them - as nothing ... not because they were nothing - but because they became nothing to him after he prioritized them into their proper place among - after all the things he considered much more important - and while I think it's clear that Paul wrote a bit of sarcasm into this passage - he is very honestly telling us something truly important about how he viewed his sufferings ... that they were not what he considered most valuable to talk about ... his point actually continues over into 2 Corinthians 12 where he delves into talking about the thorn in the flesh given to him - and how he three times asked the Lord to remove it from him but God's response is:

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV

Salty speech isn't never saying anything wrong. It isn't only speaking after having listened superbly. I'm not even sure we can pursue salty speech - or Godly speech directly. It seems that the reason the author of James 3:2 makes the extraordinary claim about speech that he does when he writes: "For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well." - is because speech - what we say - is either the rattling exhaust racket of our un-submitted and un-surrendered wills - or the sweet life-giving words of wills and souls that are so surrendered to His will. It's the easiest thing in the world to let our lips fly loose - it's so easy - that if we can actually resist that temptation - then there aren't many temptations we can't resist. Perhaps this is why Elijah's ministry was so powerful - he spoke precious little - for being such a major figure in the Old Testament - he doesn't even have his own book!  And yet - he did far more extraordinary things than many other characters we read about. I would argue that this is because Elijah lived so fully surrendered.

Not just submitting our lives to Jesus - but going beyond submission - to the point of surrendering fully our lives to Jesus - is the true "auto-awesomifying" machine - that takes even the most dreary day and morphs it into something glorious for God. 

Salty speech happens when we surrender ourselves to Him. 

What's Better Than Saying Something Brilliant?

Up until now I've made the argument that the first line of defense when it comes to corralling speech - is corralling our thoughts. I absolutely believe that's true. 

And while that's an awesome line of defense - there's a second line of defense that's actually so important it could be a second first line of defense! 

So what is it?

Listening.

A long time ago - I made a 1-800 phone-call and subscribed to Dover Press's book catalog (that whole sentence is soooo 1993!) Dover Press printed really cheap paperback copies of all kinds of books. One of the first books I bought was Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary". Ambrose Bierce was a lexicographer - someone who defined words - but he defined words humorously. Here's his definition of politics.

Okay - so clearly - he was a cynic. So now you know why I found him so funny. Possibly one of his best known and most quoted definitions is how he defined an egoist:

Now I think maybe twice in my life someone complimented me on being a great listener ... I'm not sure - I think I spaced out. But when I have listened - really listened - there was hardly a need to control my speech ... listening opened the door to understanding ... and understanding engineers some of the world's strongest bridges - don't you think?

If you search for Scriptures on silence or being silent - you'll pull up a list of over one hundred relevant verses. It was in silence that God confirmed to Jacob that Rebekah was the wife God had chosen for him, and it was on the eve of the Israelite's first going into the promised land - that God emphatically told them to be silent AND to listen. It is, after all, all too possible to do one and not the other. 

Ambrose Bierce also defined a bore as "someone who talks when you want them to listen." and Fran Leibowitz who said "The opposite of talking isn't listening. It's waiting." 

I confess I'm all too guilty of waiting instead of listening. 

But if we really want to have gracious speech - speech that perfectly seasons the conversation - we have to not only be present in the conversation - but to have listened to it attentively enough - and kept our hearts so turned to God in the midst of it - that we can hear what part of that conversation needs salt - otherwise - we'll either in a lack of clarity blather and babble on and on meaninglessly - or - offer no words (aka. no salt) at all.

It's common on the internet nowadays to see graphics about how listen and silent are anagrams - as it was not too long ago to be told to carry on.

Maybe the reason Elephants never forget - is because they use those huge ears of theirs to really hear. Hard to recall what was never heard. Not only might we learn something we'd never heard before by listening - but we might also convey a level of interest and care in those who share their words with us - that alters both the speaker and listener. Here's a TED talk on that point - from TEDx Kelowna by Dr. Mark Holder, the head of the University of British Columbia's Happiness research team. Turns out - there's a way to listen that even has a huge impact on our own happiness - and it centers around just 3 words. Maybe merely listening - really listening - and not waiting - could not only give us huge insights on what kind of salty speech to utter - if any - but strengthen the relationships in which we can share such speech.

Salty Speech: The Fountain of Abundance

Two verses lead to today's post: Matthew 12:34b and James 3:11.

Matthew 12:34b  "For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." (NASB)

James 3:11  "Does a fountain send out from the same opening both [g]fresh and bitter water?" (NASB)

Luke 6:45c and Proverbs 4:23 are also referenced - but for our purposes - the above two verses will do just fine.

Here is the thing about how we speak to others. However I decide to speak to the people God has put around me - friends, family, loved ones, neighbors, besties, church family, acquaintances; everyone - and however lofty my ideals might be about how I want to speak to this "cloud of witnesses" or sphere of influence - I will never manage to consistently speak to them very differently from how I speak to myself, in my own head. I can't speak to all those people out there - you know - you guys - and everyone else I might like to meet up for some kayaking, picnicking, and summer fun - very differently from the way in which I speak to myself. This is an aspect of that verse in James about the fresh and bitter water fountains. There is not a single fountain in the world that shoots out water that's salty - and also shoots out water that's fresh. I mean you could try and make one - but it'd be an exercise in frustration and futility - because it would break down, cease to work and want to be a desperate mess of plumbing. 

This isn't a new idea.

It just seems to be an idea that took an inordinate amount of time to really settle into my bones. 

now that's abundance!

The other part of this idea is that the thing that we have the most of for ourselves in our hearts - that's going to be the thing we talk about. All. The. Time. There are people I've met recently who I've pummeled with question after question about social media - and maybe they now think I love that more than anything else. But I can't sustain conversation after conversation, year after year on that topic.

You know what I can talk about forever? Discipleship. Growing closer to God. Bible study methods, jouraling methods, great books on growing your walk with God, TED talks that spill over into areas I'm working to grow more, gardening, hiking, health topics, fresh berries ... really. Don't get me going.

Actually - I'm not kidding. That list isn't my ideal.

If I want my ideal - in other words - for people to come away from a conversation with me knowing that I love this God whose love is the best medicine, most hilarious joke, most compelling story, most righteous political ideal, most healthful habits, most peaceful rest, most joyous happiness, most wise words, most poetic beauty - then those are all the things I need to actually fill my heart with.

If you think this sounds like Philippians 4:8 - you're right! 

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things."  (NASB)

There are some verses that are kinda scary to think about taking literally - but I don't think this is one of them. If I want to have abundant love, plentiful grace, overflowing wisdom, sloshing over the rim kindness for everyone around me - then I'd better sow that stuff like mad in my thoughts - which is another way to say I'd better sow it like mad in my own heart. Which means I'm not going to have time to do that weird thing that so many of us seem to have been taught to do you ... you know - open up a can of holy whoop-butt on ourselves - and let ourselves have it for whatever. But that would lead to precisely the abundance I don't want to give to anyone. 

To be honest - if I could just get this one thing down pat - there might not be a need for another single post on speech - salty, gracious or otherwise. 

To attempt to speak to others more kindly than we speak to ourselves - will lead us to fly off the rails and we'll either speak license about our flaws and permissiveness will come pouring out of our mouths - or we'll toy with self-righteousness and judgment will dribble everywhere. The middle between those two extremes seems to a space that we can't stand in ... it's too slippery - too illusive. In order to stay there - we can only humbly bow and with a contrite heart kneel before the Perfect God who never speaks a wrong word. It's a terrible place to stand - but what a place to take refuge under the wing of the Creator. 

I'm gonna stop here and go think. Here's a clip of a fountain - I love this video - it's a little wobbly at the beginning - but keep watching. Enjoy. Praying you have a lovely weekend!

Salty Speech: What if Churches Were Refuges from "Raca"

Today's post is a part 2 from Friday's.

I recently came across a news article about a church in Arizona reaching out to college students that went too far. The church had at least five different front groups for the church) - pursuing funding, aggressively promoting one thing but actually doing another. Students were pushed to aggressively recruit, live with other members in houses that were ridiculously over-crowded, absolutely pack their days from dawn till dusk with church meetings and work. Students were told to ask permission to change their majors, date, make trips home. Students were manipulated and controlled - primarily through - you guessed it - shame. 

Organizations and social groups that support our faith practices exert incredible influence on our lives simply by virtue of what they're about. Over the years - I've met a number of people who have endured abuse in churches and ministries that used shame to enforce compliance or worse - silence. Shaming isn't leadership. Unfettered shaming in organizations is about the leader's own unaddressed shame. 

Shame is the gas-pedal we go to when we want to speed past finding the courage to listen or humbly give the time to understand what God's doing in their life. Shame is the social dynamite we lob at others when we think we can know in a blink what someone needs. It's how we tsk, eye-ball roll, and dismiss someone whose experience is far enough outside our own that to understand it we have to expend effort. But shame isn't just impatient. It comes in many other forms - and they're all toxic.

In other words - shame is a lethal and false work-around. I say lethal - because it only works when it's killed off my ability to ignore my God-given value and wait for another to tell me that I'm okay, valuable, desirable, or enough. Shame only exists as long as we're not really okay with who we are. All the best research shows that everyone is vulnerable to some amount of shame though - so we all love to be validated. I believe that Scripture offers us Divine grounds for living resiliently to shame - though; but what a mess when that message gets mingled with shame. I say it's a false work-around because when I give shame space in my head I've just layered even more shame on the parts that already had shame. It's like fighting shame with shame. Shame only exists where my soul hasn't yet grasped God's love for and truth about me. It's not possible to use shame positively any more than it's possible to use abuse positively. Period.

Bottom line: if shame were that great of a motivator - wouldn't God have shamed Jesus onto the cross? Wouldn't John 3:16 then say "For God was so ashamed of the world ..."

But what if faith communities quit shame altogether?

I heard a story - I believe on a podcast - and I'm so bummed that after hours and hours of rummaging all over the net to re-find the original material I haven't found it again. Anyway - the story was about a struggling small town hospital. The hospital hired a new administrator who put a number of new policies into place. Big whoop - right? One of the new ideas everyone agreed to was that as a place of healing - they were going to use no language related to death or violence. They wanted to only use language of healing. This meant that if a cancer patient came in for chemo - you can imagine maybe someone telling that patient that "we're going to target that tumor - and we're going to attack it - and we'll keep attacking it until it's dead." Instead this hospital chose to say things like "We're going to find the tumor - and we're going to give your immune system everything it needs to heal - and we're going to keep supporting you and your body until the tumor is replaced by healthy tissue again." The staff overwhelmingly sighted the change in language as being a decisive factor in the hospital not only no longer being in danger of closing - but in their achieving unprecedented treatment outcomes.

If language of violence can be considered the opposite of language of healing - what is the opposite of shame? Most people agree that it's empathy. I would even go so far to say that by putting ourselves in a position to even just be open to generously giving others our empathy is better for us than carrying around shame in our heads. But actually speaking to others with empathy - and receiving their empathy - imagine the feast for our souls that would be! I feel fortunate to attend a church that doesn't thrive on shaming this group or that group from the pulpit every Sunday - but I wonder how much good shaming anyone from that platform does - given how caustic and harmful shame is. What would happen if we went to church - determined to give some empathy to this one - and say - look them in the eye and say "I'm so glad you're here!" or hug them and genuinely say "I'd hoped to get to talk to you!" Not everyone wants to be on the spot with their words - but we could send a little note - and tell that someone who's always faithfully serving at church - that "I'm so encouraged to serve every time I see you in action." Even if we don't have the perfect words - sharing heartfelt joy at the good we see those in our faith community doing and being could have a radical impact on the way those regular services feed our own faith. 

What would happen to our communities if even just a few churches intentionally backed away from open shaming? What would change as a result? I have to imagine our willingness to hear it elsewhere would change. I'm afraid at the moment - some of us are numb to it. What if our churches, and ministries, and families were sanctuaries where we could heal and gain strength to resist the onslaught of shame? What if to be like Christ looked like shaming no one. 

Salty Speech: Raca: Worse than Vulgar

If you read through the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:22 you can come across this verse.

22 "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell."  NIV

I pasted the verse above from BibleGateway.com - and is from the New International Version. In the middle of the verse there's this word; "Raca" - with a note [d] - which if you click on it - will tell you that raca is an Aramaic language term of contempt. In other translations the word raca only appears as a footnote - and the word is translated in the text as "you fool!" or "idiot". Most versions have a footnote about this term.  If you keep digging around  - you can uncover that this term doesn't actually have a good equivalent in English - because the word in Aramaic also sounds like the word "to spit." It's not really like calling someone a moron. It's also not like calling someone a dumb-dumb. It is like spitting in someone's face while calling them the foulest thing you can think of. It is soul-withering.

This is the only place this word appears in the entire Bible. It gets a lot of attention - rightfully - because of what the rest of that verse in Matthew 5:22 says ... that speaking this way - puts you in danger of hell. To a fluent Aramaic speaker - based on what I've studied because I'm not fluent in Aramaic - this isn't just a statement about someone's IQ. This term is a leathally soul-crushing trifecta of contempt, devaluation and dismissal. This is the way you speak to someone you're willing to put or leave in the gutter.

In other words: this is a term of deep shame.

Shame has has a lot of press lately - due in large part to the work of now world-famous shame expert, Dr. Brene' Brown. She's published a number of books, given a number of TED talks which continue to just grow in viewage. If you don't know about Dr. Brown's work or her TED talks - then you can go here to watch the first one and nourish your brain for about 18 minutes. Dr. Brown has been interviewed numerous times on numerous media platforms. I'm a podcast person - and I've heard many of her interviews via podcast. Interestingly - about half the time - the interviewer will eventually suggest that maybe shame should be used - but only towards really bad people. Dr. Brown's answer is unequivocally: "No." Then she goes on to explain how even shaming people who "deserve it" damages all the rest of the people who hear said shaming and don't deserve it. She goes on to declare that shame has no benefit to anyone. Anywhere. Ever. 

Please re-read that last sentence with me - because I really need to get this too. The world's foremost and most outspoken expert on Shame believes it has NO place, NO where, at NO time. Shame is simply - THAT bad.

So - back to "raca" in Matthew 5:22

Read the verse above that - Matthew 5:21, and the one after that and on down through the end of verse 25. That whole little passage is titled with the heading "Murder". MURDER!! 

Murder

21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder,[a] and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister[b][c] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’[d] is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison."

In short - this passage links our mouths with the power to kill. I think we all know this. This is the crux of the misery that is bullying. This is the problem with that old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones" - and why it is just horse-hooey. There is - it seems - almost no way to causually not hear the awful things we hear. We HAVE to actively dismiss them. If we don't get rid of them - they kill us. 

Dr. Brown is spiritual and talks about the value of being spiritual - but when she talks about the destructive power of shame, she is saying this based on over a decade (nearly two now actually) of empirical social research. Loads of data. Yet here we, or at least those of us who have read the sermon on the mount - have this straight out of Jesus' own mouth from 2000 years ago. Shaming = murder. 

It's pretty clear that we can do a heap of damage - to ourselves and those around us - just thinking shame - but open up your Facebook right now - and cringe with me about the shame-pain flying around. I may not know a single thing about your newsfeed - but I know that.

Shame sells. I know they say that sex sells - and it does - but I think shame is the universally accepted G-rated substitute for sex, violence and vulgarity. "Let's all beat on the bad people!" Yet it is every bit as destructive. 

And - please let me be really clear - sitting here writing this - I feel ashamed. If you know me - you know why. I have - as my mother told me when I was 12 - "a tongue what can clip a hedge". Apparently it was pretttttty baaaadddd when I was 12 - because my brother-in-law said the same thing. In fact - I just got off the phone with my brother, Dave - because I wanted to give an example on here of how sharp-tongued - or shame-driven my speech was/has been and wanted to clear it with him before I published the post. My brother's exact words this morning about this incident were: "Sis. How the heck do you remember this crap?" I'm soooo glad he doesn't remember. 

this is like our car - but not our car on that fateful trip - because ours had a "turtle-shell" on top for all the crap that would've gone into the trunk - if only our Civic had had one. That thing was tiny.

This is a while before that fateful trip to CA - but that's my brother Dave, in that schnazzy plaid jacket.

Here's the example: When we were kids - I was 11, my brother was 16 - our family took a nearly three week vacation and drove in a tiny Honda civic from our home in Niles, Michigan all the way out to Los Angeles. Mom wanted us to see beautiful sights - the Grand Canyon, Brice Canyon, Yellowstone, On the way back we visited some friends of my parents, "The Olsens" - they asked me at dinner "What have you learned from this trip Amy Jo?" Noticing that I'd just been handed center stage at a two-family dinner - one of my bigger audiences to date - I sagaciously (or so I thought) declared that I'd learned "that my brother had a mouth the size of Grand Canyon that spouted like Old Faithful". The whole room roared with laughter. I think it took my brother a while to notice what happened because he was crushing on their cute daughter. Thank goodness he doesn't remember all the awful things I said - and I said a lot of them - my words were my weapon of choice growing up. Even as an adult I cannot even count the number of times in my life I withered someone with my words - and that horrifies me more than a bit.

Despite warnings - I was a slow learner apparently - in college I vividlyremember my discipler, Lauren, sitting me down with another couple of student leaders to explain to me that the things I said - and the way I said them was self-righteous, and judgmental - and this wasn't good. I am sorry to say that I stared and them and blinked and asked: "But what if I'm right?" 

So - when I say that Shame, and all other possible permutations of slaying people with our words - I come at it as a slayer and slain. 

And you know what? Slayer is worse. Slain is surely no picnic. But in our culture that loves shaming so much (I will cite 99% of all internet comments, ever.) - it's easy to shame shamers and shame slayers and dismiss them as "evil" or some other version of "less" (note the words that relate to worth, and contempt). Looking at my own capacity to slay and kill with my words though is much harder to stare at. 

And yet - if laughter can heal us when we're sick (and I believe it is good medicine) - surely humility, ownership, and a little tongue-biting can heal the damage shame does our souls when we cut loose with it. In fact - in a future post - I'll dive into all the ways we can use our tongues to promote healing.

Sadly - for today - I'm focused on shame. 

And I won't speak for you - but I will tell you that for a few years now I've been working really hard to throw zero shame ... and the super messed up thing is I still throw it - and sometimes I throw it at myself - as if that somehow makes it okay. Shame has a seductive, even addictive quality to it. We are alarmingly good at recalling the shaming, killing words others have said, and frequently completely oblivious about the remarks we've casually tossed out to others in heated moments - or moments when we knew we had an audience. It's as if we can toss death-bombs with our mouths and look in the mirror and see halos. Messed. Up. I want to be done with it. I literally believe it does less harm to drop any term of vulgarity - than it does to shame someone. And let me be clear - I really believe that it does as much more harm to my soul when I shame than it does the soul of the one I'm shaming - albeit different-feeling kinds of harm. That so often we can shame and not even recall it - is an indication of our woundedness. We don't notice. I'm not advocating that - I'm just saying. I know people who are extremely adverse to any form of swearing (not a bad trait). As a "preacher's kid" who spent many a hot summer evening completely glued to a vinyl covered pew - there were quite a few swear words I had no idea existed. But I knew shame. I think I've always known "raca" and all it's ilk.

Here's why I think shame is so bad. After so many decades of ministry and talking to people who's faiths are battered - they're not battered by Muslims, or Atheists, or Vegetarians attacking their faith. They're battered because someone in the Body of Christ, someone they thought was on their side and had their back - took aim - and shamed them. 

I do not want to tear down the work of the Lord in someone else's soul - with my words - that extremely rare and precious gift we have among all life on this rock - for a seductive moment of laughter from a crowd, or self-righteous inner "glow". Who can rebuild such damage? Have you forgotten all the shaming things that once stabbed your heart? No. I want to build people up. I want to put my head on my pillow at night and fall asleep smiling about healing with my words.

This isn't about perfection - we can't attain that. Or guilt - we can grow in that. This is about offering a much needed refuge - to ourselves and the world at large. Everyone is drowning in shame. Go to the grocery store - the most shame-fueled publications, the rumor rags like Enquirer and People, are place directly across the most common shame-numbing drugs - like Snickers and Recees Peanutbutter Cups. 

And - imagine the boon to our own souls to not cave to this sort of speech? It really does damage both ways. It's just playing with death. Not good. If laughter is good medicine - building one another up is the speech equivalent of a super-vitamin, or kale. That's it. Loving speech is surely to our souls what kale is to our bodies (even if it tastes a little like death to my mouth). I love to cook tasty, healthy food for my friends. A little salt makes that so easy. I want to season my speech with Grace - as with salt. (Colossians 4:6)

My prayer for us all today - is that the words we'd remember most would be those Christ died to let us hear. You are God's. He loves you.

Salty Speech: a Keystone Habit

It was about 6 weeks ago when I first started thinking about this "Salty Speech" thing - way back in April - and long before the last Grace Habit post. The idea of salty speech grew out of the Grace Habit - because just like daily soaking in God's presence had a spill-over effect on my thoughts - the effect on thoughts began to spill over into speech. 

Okay - about that ... there are conversations I've had just this week - today even - that I would not mind having some sort of supernaturally powered fairy-wand that would allow me to dive back into the ether of space and time and suck those words back up. Whether that means that those words would then make my whole mouth taste like "crow" or "humble-pie" for the rest of the day - doesn't matter. It'd be worth it. I say this not because I've been "more awful than ever" today ... but rather because not only wasn't I more awful than ever - but because - what if I could learn to intentionally lay down each word - considered and hand-picked - just for that moment - just for that conversation. Dangerous thinking. Right? But is it really? Is this one of who-knows-how-many ways to be "slow to speak?" (James 1:19)

This project has mostly been a pleasant little adventure to create something different from before with my speech and notice how that change sits day after day. Despite decades walking with Jesus - everything's somehow come together in such a way as to make the whole topic feel fresh and new. To land in a pile of so much "new" - feels absolutely quickening, electrifying, and invigorating. So - it's early on still - but one thing seems very clear - if you want to grab hold of your spiritual growth, if you want to put a big ol' handle on your character - speech seems to be a fine way to do so. And - it's hard to guess who will benefit more - you - or all those around you.

Talk has been floating around health and fitness circles for some time now about "keystone" habits - those habits that make it so much easier to achiever more difficult habits. A simple and benign habit like taking a daily walk for instance - for many people leads far more easily to a goal of "losing 25lb" than tackling that goal directly. (Want to read more about this?  Check out this Huffington Post article. Or - read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg - just one of many books that have come out recently on this topic - there are many). Whether or not the Grace Habit, or casting off negative thinking, or speech is a keystone habit for anyone else - we each surely have several or more. You can think about a keystone habit as that one domino - which once toppled - sets off the whole chain reaction - without require any further input or effort. It's an imperfect analogy because no growth in faith happens accidentally - but it can happen and must be able to happen without the oppressiveness of soul-drags like guilt, and "should".

Whether you're reading current social science or psychology research - or you're reading the nearly 2,000 year old book of James 3:2; "For we all stumble in many ways, if anyone does not stumble in what he says - he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well." It seems to me - that speech - is a keystone habit spiritually. The only good way for me to not stumble in what I say is to align my goals with God's goals in such a way that stumbling a little less in what I say is a by-product of turning my heart as hard as I can towards God. I'm nowhere nearly as good as I'd like to be at this - but I more I lean into the Grace Habit the more noticeably disruptive salt-less speech feels ... the more I crave lining my speech up with the love of God the Grace Habit lets me soak in. The less I want to increase the global volume of corrosive racket spilling into the air out of my mouth. It doesn't feel oppressive or burdensome - but rather playful, adventurous, creative and hopeful. This isn't about trying harder, or working harder at it or simply looking in the mirror every morning and saying to myself - again - that I "really should speak better" and "I probably could speak better,  and I would probably like it. Honestly - I truly believe that "should" is one of the foulest words in the English language - followed closely could and would.

James 3 goes on to compare attempting to tame the tongue to putting a rudder on a ship, or a bridle into a horse's mouth ... tiny things that exert tremendous influence.

"3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires." 

So - if your walk with God is rocking - please share your tips and insights - and maybe just enjoy the domino video. But if you're looking for a way to boost your walk and create a different space in your head and around you - maybe speech can give you a bit of that lever by which you can move - if not the world - then at least some hearts - which is still pretty incredible. 

Next Topic of Exploration: Salty Speech

Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! For sticking with me through the Grace Habit discussion. The last post - lessons from - will come at some point in the future - it's proving tricking to pin down - but worth clarifying for sure.

But - within the next week or so I'm going to look at speech. 

Speech is one of the more powerful tools we run around with on the daily. Of all the faculties we have - I believe it's the one that's closest to God's own creative capacity. With our words we can create friendship, community, love, harmony, peace, purpose ... or not. It was the power of speech that God toppled in the account of the Tower of Babel. With some well chosen words President Kennedy send the U.S. to the moon.

We also rely on words to tell stories, sing songs and connect with a loved one. We can - with this gift - give those around us a sense of our extraordinary love and commitment to their well-being - or we can crush a soul with a torrent of cruel words. Even more so with silence. Careless speech can divide communities, churches and families. Cruel speech designed to strike can weary a nation.

Unlike the Grace Habit - where I came to the series well after hundreds and hundreds of hours of study and thought and discussion. This topic I'm approaching it with newfound curiosity, hunger for something different. Lately I've felt inclined to take a look at this in the last few months and I've been slowly blocking off time to engage in this study. I feel convicted. 

Of course I grew up in the church - so most of the low-hanging fruit things to say about speech I've heard over and over. In fact - I'll admit that some aspects of my speech have been reactionary. I grew up in a church where it was tantamount to heresy to utter a single curse. I grew up in a home where I was not allowed to call my brother "dumb and stupid" (though strangely I knew how to sign it in American Sign Language). I have a vivid memory of my brother coaching me to say something to my mom as a toddler that when she heard me resulted in the strangest look on her face - and then she immediately got up and soaped my suddenly not-laughing-anymore brothers mouth. Aaaaahh. Sibling fun. Anyway - swearing was a big no no at church, at home and elsewhere. Yet - I heard spitefulness, gossip and hate. So for years I've spoken more or less like Yosemite Sam - but worked hard to not speak hatefully - to eschew throwing shame and contempt around. I still do think that those are incredibly destructive.

But isn't there much more to speech? Isn't there much more we can do with it? Is the work done and the day over - let the cows go back to the barn - if you've merely managed to say poo not "$#@^" and dropped no bombs and been a "pretty decent person"? Is that really it?

What about encouraging one another, building up one another, speaking grace and comfort into one another's lives - what about speaking truth ... or a real challenge - what about not speaking - and just listening? 

Can we do even more with speech? Where I'm really headed with this - is "how can I learn to speak the maximum grace into the lives of those God's put around me?" Another way to put this pursuit might be to ask, "How can I tame my tongue (James 3) and make of it a gift of obedience to God and speak honestly, authentically, lovingly, creatively in other's lives. It's not that I haven't always more or less wanted to speak in this way - but rather that I wasn't as clear about the necessity or value of this pursuit until recently. I've been looking at experiments in speech in secular research and reading up on things I had no idea even existed.

In general the blog schedule will continue as it is going forward - though with a couple of name changes. It was a complete spur-of-the-moment decision to call the posts on the various books I've presented "Good Reads" - and this is probably not ideal as there's a huge thing called "Good Reads" - so I'll continue discussing various books - but I'll come up with something else to call it.

Thanks again - praying you all have a wonderful weekend!